As a younger mom, I found it very difficult to sleep when my husband was traveling. I dreaded his business trips because I knew they would leave me battling fears of adult-sized monsters under beds and in every closet. The 1:00 a.m. front-yard shadows were crouched or creeping figures; each plumbing or HVAC sound was an intruder stirring in a stairwell or closet. Every shadow and sound took the imaginative form of felons or peeping Toms who somehow knew my husband’s erratic travel schedule.
As a believer, I knew in my head that God cared for me and my children, but this comfort seemingly took wings with my husband’s planes. God’s protection therefore seemed limited to easier daytime hours, which meant I had to cover the evening shift—a tough assignment for a tired mom with a houseful of kids to face the next morning. On those weary nights, I quadruple-checked every lock, lingered behind curtains as I peered at the driveway, and checked closets and attics for bad guys until almost 3:00 a.m., when I was finally too tired to keep up my crazy patrol. Since we live in a broken world—and criminals sometimes break into homes—my sleepless fears had seemed completely rational.
Eventually, after fear overshadowed other areas of life, I realized that this was a pervasive thought habit—and at its root, a spiritual issue. I wasn’t taking every thought captive; and therefore I allowed crime news and midnight shadows to shrink God to a diminutive and distant deity who could secure salvation but not safety. On Sundays and when my husband slept beside me, God was near; but in the dark of those travel nights, he kept an uninvolved distance. The implications were frightening; If he wouldn’t protect my home from danger, he likely wouldn’t protect me from a variety of deeper, existential threats. The problem resided in me; I needed to choose faith over feelings and hold an accurate theology of God.
Knowing God’s attributes, character and nature helps us to see ourselves and our noisy world more accurately as well. Unlike our moods and energy levels, God is unchanging; he does not sleep. Unlike our sinful and blind instincts, God is holy and seeing everything completely; and unlike the headline-grabbers who darken our news, God is all-powerful. While the news cycle or the latest wicked schemes bring fresh alarm to our ears, the God who framed our universe sits enthroned as his kingdom rolls on, conquering generations—-and he laughs at the wicked who imagine that they will overthrow the King of Kings and his people, whether at home or abroad.
His character reaches to the individual, emotional level, too. He knows our anxious doubts and provides promises that refute them and proclaim his authority over even the seemingly small details of our lives. Our nighttime spiritual challenges matter to him, and he uses those very battlefields to demonstrate his faithfulness to us. He is also consummately merciful and full of compassion, so if we’ve indulged anxiety and crumpled under our irrational fears, he gladly restores us when we repent.
God’s attributes and promises are unchanging. When we stake our lives on this, it pleases him; it points to God’s glory when we choose his words over the most convincing and emotive arguments of our flesh. Jesus provided the model for simple and theologically sound faith; when Satan’s tempted him, he didn’t refer to others’ experience or lean on the wisdom of Rome’s great minds. Instead, he recognized the attack on God’s word and refused to indulge the enemy’s argument—and so should we.
Fearful times are often God’s gymnasium for strengthening our faith. For some of us, God uses traveling husbands to prod us to beef up our theology and exercise greater discipline in our thought life. Those testing times come with a great blessing though; in our fearful nights, God can reveal himself in a very personal way, teaching us that he is trustworthy and near, extending his care to our street, yard, and home—and to the little ones sleeping within.
Enjoy your weekend, and take this wisdom with you!
2 Corinthians 1:20, ESV
For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory.
Psalm 96:4-5, ESV
For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; he is to be feared above all gods. For all the gods of the peoples are worthless idols, but the LORD made the heavens.
Psalm 91:4-5
He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day
Herman Bavinck, The Wonderful Works of God
“The life of the Christian is not a quiet growth, but a continuous struggle, a struggle against enemies without, and no less a struggle against the enemy who dwells within our own bosoms.”
Ludwig Von Moses Institute: The Austrian School: A Family Album
“The story of the Austrian school [of economics] begins in the fifteenth century, when the followers of Thomas Aquinas…sought to explain the full range of human action and social organization.”